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Those of you blessedly immune to America Online’s web services may not be aware that they run news services and other portal-page information as soon as you log on. One “feature” of the portal is a slide-show style montage of headlines that flip every three seconds or so. They’re always of the format:

Highly Significant Headline A
– Unrelated Headline B

…which is backwards from the usual headline standard the planet’s journalists use:

Highly Significant Headline A
– Subheadline for related story B

The end result is sometimes pathetic and sometimes funny. Today’s is pathetic.