Yes, I know, the comic’s late.

I spent from 3:00 Friday afternoon until now (5:40 Saturday morning) working on a project for work.

Once I take a nap I’ll try to get a comic up. But the work project’s not quite where I need it to be, so it might be slightly after that.

Done

Federal and state taxes – done
2 loads of laundry – done
Bills – done
Usability testing screens for monday – done
Wireframes – as done as they get until I corner my co-workers monday
Food shopping – done thanks to Nighthawk
Comic for Saturday – done, late, but done
Brunch and dinner – done
Now, maybe I should sleep.

Snzzzz

I am tired beyond words.

I washed my bluetooth earbud thingie* for the iphone this weekend, so if you’re expecting a call from me it might be a while… the iphone’s speaker phone often leaves something to be desired… like sound quality.

Got a photo of a great sign today for y’all but too tired to post it… it’ll probably be Saturday’s comic, since I’m still fighting with the elevator scene.

Must sleep now before my legs fall off.

*note: not a good plan. do not repeat.

Status update

So incredibly tired. Started Tang Soo Do classes at work today, and the first class kicked my butt. My butt needed kicking. Wow am I exhausted. Wednesday there will be more butt-kicking. Sleep will be my friend.

On the creative end of things, I did finish the first panel of the Night Fugues comic that I started last October. But when the clock struck 11 I decided that I wasn’t going to get the other 3-4 panels done tonight and bailed out to a spare IOI comic I had in the wings. Sorry. We’ll get there. After all, I have to get through at least a chunk of this story or I can’t write about cornish game cows. Those are the rules.

I miss JessieDog. She and I could’ve crashed on the sofa together really easily tonight.

Pieces and spots, or the reasons why I can’t sleep

It’s the fragments that are getting to me; the pieces that show all we’ve gone through over the past few weeks and months that make everything so hard. It’s opening the notepad on my phone to find it’s still on the directions to the emergency vet. It’s the beds and blankets she had scattered all over the house, many of which were so thoroughly destroyed by the peeing and other side effects that even if I wanted to keep them I couldn’t because there’s no way to ever get them really clean.

It’s looking for her after a shower, when we go into the kitchen, when the wind rattles the screen door. It’s the realization that when I spill popcorn on the floor I have to pick it up. It’s getting cold and not having her there to grab and snuggle with until I’m warm or she’s thoroughly annoyed.

It’s not having to watch where I walk all the time because I’m not going to find a spot where she peed while I was at work. It’s not getting kicked while I knit or whined at while I’m on the computer paying bills. It’s not knowing the weather because I haven’t been outside every two hours. It’s not getting kicked when I try to nap on the sofa.

And it’s physical, too. I had no idea how much of it was physical. It’s not quite heartburn but it’s not nausea. It’s that washed out feeling three seconds after throwing up, with a mouthful of saliva and a burning shaky feeling all over…

It’s finding a way to stay occupied for an hour or two and then suddenly whatever you were doing is done and everything comes back. It’s worrying that I’m talking about her too much and that I’m making it harder for everyone else to mourn. It’s worrying that I’m not talking about her enough and that I’m going to internalize it all and shut down emotionally again.

It’s a headache the size of Kentucky and wondering whether the headache blocks the sleep or the lack of sleep causes the headache. It’s wondering how badly I’ve destroyed my sleeping and eating patterns and how I’ll get through work on Monday if I don’t sleep tonight. It’s being amazed at how well we’re both handling it and wondering how well we’re both handling it.

It’s worrying about whether she’s being a good dog wherever she’s gone to (yes thank you I’ve read rainbow bridge) because I don’t stop by God’s house very often but that doesn’t mean I want Jess to pee on His carpets, terrorize His parakeets, and chase His other dogs. My mutt has a reputation.

It’s wanting her in my lap for just five more minutes and knowing that after that I’d ask for just five more minutes again until time itself stopped. It’s remembering what she felt like in my lap and knowing that no matter how hard I try I’m going to eventually forget what she felt like and what she sounded like and all I’ll have are memories of how much I love her and how much she loves me.

It’s two thirty in the mourning and I can’t sleep.

Thank goodness for a long weekend.

Work was, well, long. Very very long. But I managed to get a few last-minute items handled before coming home.

I came home to a sick husband, who’s caught some kind of cold/respiratory thing. Exhausted and achy myself I’m not sure I really did a very good job of taking care of him today. For that matter, I didn’t do much for myself, either.

The forum upgrade’s required a few small tweaks, plus WordPress came out with a security update that I needed to install, but everything’s been successful so far. A few quick notes I forgot to mention before:

  • When you register and post a comment, it sits in the moderation queue until I approve it. After that, so long as you don’t do anything to piss off the spam filter, your comments display immediately.
  • I’ll probably eventually (maybe even shortly) start putting a “babble” thread up every day or two so folks can babble to each other even if I’m not actively posting.
  • See the RSS and Comments RSS links in the left nav bar? If you want to keep up with the comments, those will give you overall views of what’s going on here, and each thread has its own specific comments RSS feed as well that you can check.

Anyway, I’m off until Tuesday so I’m hoping to relax, draw some comics, and gut a closet. And yell at the snow. And the Phillies. And maybe sleep now. Goodnight!

A long day of hurry up and wait

Doctor’s appointment A was supposed to start at 10:30, but started at 11:45. We drank bottles of Arizona and Sobe tea and played video games.

Appointment B was supposed to be at 1:30, but so was appointment C. We showed up for B at 12:45 and waited for the doctor to get back from lunch. Half the Tastycakes were eaten while we waited. This one was quick and uneventful; we were out by 1:20.

Appointment C was supposed to be at 1:30 but probably didn’t really start until an hour later. Armed with sodas, we waited that one out with more video games, met various new supporting staff members, completed half a dozen tasks and left there at around 3:55.

Appointment D was blood draws and there was no wait, but thanks to some confusion about a requested test we left there at 4:30.

We finally ate our first fully functional meal of the day at the hospital cafeteria at 4:45 or so, sat in horrific traffic from the city to King of Prussia mall, picked up our Final Fantasy III preorder and dragged our sorry tails in the door around 7pm.

It’s now almost 11:30 and I’ve accomplished almost nothing, except walking JessieDog and taking a brand new holy-hell-this-tastes-like-shit sinus medication. Soon I will sleep, then the work week starts back up tomorrow.

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