Got a job at the Apple store. Overslept my first day, (woke up feeling awesome, then instant panic attack) so I didn’t get to work until 1pm. When I got there…

• The store was laid out like a Circuit City, with dingy grey carpet & white linoleum.
• Nobody would tell me what to do or how to greet customers.
• The registers were a combination of the VAX terminals I used in college, the computer system they ran at Waldenbooks in the late 90s, & Windows 3.1. If you didn’t know the mainframe keyboard codes, you couldn’t do anthing correctly, but you could do a LOT… all incorrectly and/or against company policy.
• The computer mice were all beige 3-button monsters circa the IBM PS2.
• I had to check people who were buying new macs against a web-based database of people who were likely to become violent if they bought one.
• One of the staff members was hosing a customer’s 6-year-old kid off (fully clothed) in a laundry sink in the back room because somehow the kid had managed to piss himself & get it in his own hair.

Woke up.

That was the most terrifying f’d up dream I’ve had in a looooooong time.