So, let’s talk breasts. (Work-safe but long, so it’s behind a cut.)

It started about a month ago. I was sitting at my desk at work and felt the vibration of my cell phone go off, only I was picking up the vibration in the left side of my chest instead of my hip. I didn’t think much of it – my phone usually sits in my blazer’s pocket and leans against the chair arm, so when it buzzes half the time I pick up the vibration through the chair on my feet or my arm or something and not through the phone itself.

But when I checked the phone, there was no call. Odd, but I let it go.

It happened again a few hours later, and a few hours after that. Definitely a vibration, but no calls on the phone. When I came home that night, I was leaning against the arm of the sofa when it happened, and the phone wasn’t even in the livingroom, so I knew something odd was going on. And it had chosen to go on in my left breast. This was not cool.

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Things I learned today.

Today I learned:

  • When you describe your symptoms to your OB-GYN’s office and they say, “Oh, we want to see you right away!” they really mean, “Unless you changed insurance recently and we don’t take your new stuff. Then you can kiss off. Or pay out-of-pocket. Your choice.”
  • Cheddar cheese ramen is very hot and very filling, but won’t be enough food to get you from 12:30 pm to 9:30 pm. Two cans of coca cola and a reece’s fast break are also required.
  • HP computers boot too damn fast for you to spot the “press this for boot list” key if you don’t know where to look on the screen.
    • It’s worse if your co-worker is yelling to press “delete” because that’s what his computer at home uses but the ones at work use f-9.
    • PC users are used to this kind of bios crap. Mac users hold down the C key when they want to boot from CD. We’re spoiled.
  • Even though the PS2 port for keyboard and mouse are the same shape, PCs get really pissy when you get the two plugs confused.
  • Even I can install Windows XP.
  • When you call your boss at 9:30 at night, he doesn’t expect you to tell him that you’re just now leaving work, especially if your shift was supposed to end at 7.
  • The steak sandwich place closes at 10. Domino’s does not.
  • Sometimes Friday can feel like a week unto itself.